Kyle's Footprint Project
In honor and memory of Kyle's funeral, a year ago today (which is by no coincidence I think, All Saint's Day), I am posting what I wrote to the Footprint Project. You can read the project in its entirety at: http://www.kylesfilm.com/footprints/Footprints.pdf.
We still miss you, dear friend. We always will. Praise God for your life.
"My first memory of Kyle was when he was serving FBC Tyler as the intern youth minister for the summer of 92. I had just moved there as a scared 15 year old who was trying to learn to love a new place and find new friends. As he led a group of teenagers (albeit acting like one himself as he ran across the roof of the girls' rooms leaning over the edge into the window to give us all a scare), he taught me how to feel loved and appreciated when he chose me to stand and receive "I love you because." He was wise beyond his years (was it only 19?) and called out me, the new kid on the block. Throughout the next 4 years of my life, I learned to love Kyle as a mentor and friend. He floated in and out of my life through my connections with his family and my friends.
When I began attending Baylor as a Freshman in 94, I decided to give this brand new church a try - UBC. Two years later (or so...), this amazing guy entered our congregation as our community pastor. It was thrilling to see Kyle on a regular basis. I'll never forget his first sermon in the Hippodrome...it was awful! He stuttered through the whole thing, repeating phrases and sentences over and over and using his favorite word - "man" - all the time, even in the prayer!! But we hung on and sat through it all, loving him for trying and praying he would get better. He did.
As my friendship with him developed even more at the same time, my relationship with my future husband, Chris Aho, blossomed, and Kyle became even more important in my life. Always offering a hug and a smile, and making me feel as though he knew me and remembered the details of my life, I looked forward to seeing him every week and seeking his advice. He joyfully showed off his office, and we laughed - at first at the painted trees in the corner and the monkeys on the bookshelf and then the Augustine quote on the wall (who is that, I wondered?!).
Sometime during his arrival to UBC (the time blurs in my mind), I dropped by the offices at the 11th street building. I often served by doing volunteer work in answering phones, etc, and needed to check in for something. It was obvious as I entered the room, I was interrupting a precious moment with Kyle and some girl. I thought, who is this girl trying to win Kyle's heart? Good luck, Jen! Many a girl has tried (I had a few friends to add to the list), but none could measure up. But there was something so genuine and real - she was radiant and beautiful in a t-shirt and baseball cap. And somehow I knew at that moment, if Kyle was ever going to fall in love, she might be it. She too could light up a room, make you feel as if you were the only one capturing her attention, and laugh like no tomorrow. She seemed his match. She was.
Chris and I became more serious in our relationship and often sought out Kyle's advice and humor, and he often gave his jokes and laughter unsolicited. Chris began to meet with Kyle regularly in a mentoring relationship, so when he began to prepare for our engagement, he sought Kyle's involvement (Chris will have to tell you more on how that conspired). The night we were engaged, Kyle taped our engagement from the balcony of UBC. I will cherish that video for the rest of my life. I can hear Kyle whispering to Chris Seay and Dave Crowder and then giggling his infamous giggle, but quietly. When we finally faced the camera, he began whistling and shouting and his voice is burned into my brain. Such joy, such ease at celebrating with his friends. I will never forget his "woo, hoo"!
When we began planning our wedding, we knew that Kyle would play a role somehow. We were so close to Chris Seay and felt we needed him to marry us, so we asked Kyle to usher. Such a humble, servant's role, and, certainly, Kyle had better things to do than usher at a college student's wedding. But he made us feel as though he wouldn't want to do anything else and heartily accepted. He was laughter and grace at the rehearsal dinner...showing up with bleached blond hair and apologizing..."I didn't have your phone number at the salon or I would have asked!" We cherished that day and now even more as I look at those photos of that crazy blond kid.
So many other memories...he and his sister Kristi crying at his wedding, always welcoming us "home" to UBC with a big "AHOs!", that great laugh, that great smile, his mom and dad always hugging and kissing and asking details about my life- our lives, his sister Kristi being the first person I hugged after I came down the aisle at my wedding as she was on her way to the bathroom being like 8 months pregnant. Seeing Kyle and Jen and Avery at Quiznos when Avery was like two years old. She spilled something on her dress and pointed to the spot and said, "Uh, oh" so Jen could wipe it up. Being thrilled and laughing at the news that they would have twin boys. What is Jen going to do??? We KNEW they would be like Kyle!! And that wonderful Christmas picture of Avery standing perfectly in front of Santa with her designer glasses and hands by her side while the twins were beet red, crying and trying to leave Santa's lap and go in two different directions. I laughed so hard...poor Jen, she got Kyle two times over!
Then years began to pass and we didn't see our friend much as we'd moved to North Carolina. But I thought of him often. I would tell stories to others...I knew this guy....and how do you share what Kyle was like to someone who'd never met him? He is life. More alive than anyone I have ever met. He is joy. Complete through and through. He is love and acceptance. He teaches me what Christ was like on earth...do you need a modern day example? Look to Kyle. As my husband says, he is the coolest person I will ever know and makes me feel like I am too.
I never took the time to write the note that I did to so many others in my life - so here it is now..."Kyle, you are such a blessing to me. You have helped mold me into who I am today by showing me a living example of who God is. I thank God for your life and for you being real to me. My path in life has been formed by you...your relationship to Chris and encouragement to his following God's call to ministry. Much blessings and love to you and Jen. Always know you have changed so many lives. Never stop. Grace and peace, Natalie Aho." I never felt the urgency...Kyle was always going to be there. How is it that I will never get to see that smile at UBC? The "someday" in my mind of when we would have a Sunday off and be able to visit UBC will never come. Not that way any how. How do I live with that thought? How can I comprehend that Jen will never hold his hand again on Earth? How is it that those precious babies will not laugh with their dad again? Why Kyle? Of all the people in the world, why Kyle? We need him. We miss him. We will forever be changed. God have mercy on us. We need hope. Praise God for Kyle's final words to us all. I will try my best and ask God's grace to help me to embody Kyle's life in my ministry. May I be as loving and gracious and joyful and content and LIFE as Kyle taught me to be, honoring his memory forever. And he will live on...through me, then to others whom I touch...already making a difference in North Carolina. God give us peace. God give us comfort. God give us life."
It is interesting as I reread those words, written about a year ago. I still feel all those things, but if I were to write it now, I would say, "Kyle was life. Kyle was acceptance and love, etc." I guess that's what a year does - changes the "is" to "was".
We still need the peace and comfort and life. Praise God he is faithful to deliver.
We still miss you, dear friend. We always will. Praise God for your life.
"My first memory of Kyle was when he was serving FBC Tyler as the intern youth minister for the summer of 92. I had just moved there as a scared 15 year old who was trying to learn to love a new place and find new friends. As he led a group of teenagers (albeit acting like one himself as he ran across the roof of the girls' rooms leaning over the edge into the window to give us all a scare), he taught me how to feel loved and appreciated when he chose me to stand and receive "I love you because." He was wise beyond his years (was it only 19?) and called out me, the new kid on the block. Throughout the next 4 years of my life, I learned to love Kyle as a mentor and friend. He floated in and out of my life through my connections with his family and my friends.
When I began attending Baylor as a Freshman in 94, I decided to give this brand new church a try - UBC. Two years later (or so...), this amazing guy entered our congregation as our community pastor. It was thrilling to see Kyle on a regular basis. I'll never forget his first sermon in the Hippodrome...it was awful! He stuttered through the whole thing, repeating phrases and sentences over and over and using his favorite word - "man" - all the time, even in the prayer!! But we hung on and sat through it all, loving him for trying and praying he would get better. He did.
As my friendship with him developed even more at the same time, my relationship with my future husband, Chris Aho, blossomed, and Kyle became even more important in my life. Always offering a hug and a smile, and making me feel as though he knew me and remembered the details of my life, I looked forward to seeing him every week and seeking his advice. He joyfully showed off his office, and we laughed - at first at the painted trees in the corner and the monkeys on the bookshelf and then the Augustine quote on the wall (who is that, I wondered?!).
Sometime during his arrival to UBC (the time blurs in my mind), I dropped by the offices at the 11th street building. I often served by doing volunteer work in answering phones, etc, and needed to check in for something. It was obvious as I entered the room, I was interrupting a precious moment with Kyle and some girl. I thought, who is this girl trying to win Kyle's heart? Good luck, Jen! Many a girl has tried (I had a few friends to add to the list), but none could measure up. But there was something so genuine and real - she was radiant and beautiful in a t-shirt and baseball cap. And somehow I knew at that moment, if Kyle was ever going to fall in love, she might be it. She too could light up a room, make you feel as if you were the only one capturing her attention, and laugh like no tomorrow. She seemed his match. She was.
Chris and I became more serious in our relationship and often sought out Kyle's advice and humor, and he often gave his jokes and laughter unsolicited. Chris began to meet with Kyle regularly in a mentoring relationship, so when he began to prepare for our engagement, he sought Kyle's involvement (Chris will have to tell you more on how that conspired). The night we were engaged, Kyle taped our engagement from the balcony of UBC. I will cherish that video for the rest of my life. I can hear Kyle whispering to Chris Seay and Dave Crowder and then giggling his infamous giggle, but quietly. When we finally faced the camera, he began whistling and shouting and his voice is burned into my brain. Such joy, such ease at celebrating with his friends. I will never forget his "woo, hoo"!
When we began planning our wedding, we knew that Kyle would play a role somehow. We were so close to Chris Seay and felt we needed him to marry us, so we asked Kyle to usher. Such a humble, servant's role, and, certainly, Kyle had better things to do than usher at a college student's wedding. But he made us feel as though he wouldn't want to do anything else and heartily accepted. He was laughter and grace at the rehearsal dinner...showing up with bleached blond hair and apologizing..."I didn't have your phone number at the salon or I would have asked!" We cherished that day and now even more as I look at those photos of that crazy blond kid.
So many other memories...he and his sister Kristi crying at his wedding, always welcoming us "home" to UBC with a big "AHOs!", that great laugh, that great smile, his mom and dad always hugging and kissing and asking details about my life- our lives, his sister Kristi being the first person I hugged after I came down the aisle at my wedding as she was on her way to the bathroom being like 8 months pregnant. Seeing Kyle and Jen and Avery at Quiznos when Avery was like two years old. She spilled something on her dress and pointed to the spot and said, "Uh, oh" so Jen could wipe it up. Being thrilled and laughing at the news that they would have twin boys. What is Jen going to do??? We KNEW they would be like Kyle!! And that wonderful Christmas picture of Avery standing perfectly in front of Santa with her designer glasses and hands by her side while the twins were beet red, crying and trying to leave Santa's lap and go in two different directions. I laughed so hard...poor Jen, she got Kyle two times over!
Then years began to pass and we didn't see our friend much as we'd moved to North Carolina. But I thought of him often. I would tell stories to others...I knew this guy....and how do you share what Kyle was like to someone who'd never met him? He is life. More alive than anyone I have ever met. He is joy. Complete through and through. He is love and acceptance. He teaches me what Christ was like on earth...do you need a modern day example? Look to Kyle. As my husband says, he is the coolest person I will ever know and makes me feel like I am too.
I never took the time to write the note that I did to so many others in my life - so here it is now..."Kyle, you are such a blessing to me. You have helped mold me into who I am today by showing me a living example of who God is. I thank God for your life and for you being real to me. My path in life has been formed by you...your relationship to Chris and encouragement to his following God's call to ministry. Much blessings and love to you and Jen. Always know you have changed so many lives. Never stop. Grace and peace, Natalie Aho." I never felt the urgency...Kyle was always going to be there. How is it that I will never get to see that smile at UBC? The "someday" in my mind of when we would have a Sunday off and be able to visit UBC will never come. Not that way any how. How do I live with that thought? How can I comprehend that Jen will never hold his hand again on Earth? How is it that those precious babies will not laugh with their dad again? Why Kyle? Of all the people in the world, why Kyle? We need him. We miss him. We will forever be changed. God have mercy on us. We need hope. Praise God for Kyle's final words to us all. I will try my best and ask God's grace to help me to embody Kyle's life in my ministry. May I be as loving and gracious and joyful and content and LIFE as Kyle taught me to be, honoring his memory forever. And he will live on...through me, then to others whom I touch...already making a difference in North Carolina. God give us peace. God give us comfort. God give us life."
It is interesting as I reread those words, written about a year ago. I still feel all those things, but if I were to write it now, I would say, "Kyle was life. Kyle was acceptance and love, etc." I guess that's what a year does - changes the "is" to "was".
We still need the peace and comfort and life. Praise God he is faithful to deliver.
posted by gnat @ 1:08 PM
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